So many spiritual teachers preach it, so many therapists insist on it, and so many books are written about the importance of it: Forgiveness.

Here are some examples for the typical messages:
“You finally have to forgive, or your wounds will never heal.”
“If you cannot forgive him, your heart will always stay frozen.”
“They gave their best; you shouldn’t be so unforgiving. Finally, leave your past behind.”
“The first step in your healing process is forgiveness; otherwise, you create new, bad karma.”
“Meditate, focus your mind, think positive, and don’t take your feelings so seriously; then, you will be able to forgive and free yourself.”
“Without forgiveness, you will stay stuck forever, and your fury will poison you from within.”

Such messages put so many people under unhealthy pressure.
Because there is nothing more destructive in a healing process than a forced, false, and too early sense of forgiveness.
Someone who has truly and authentically forgiven doesn't preach about the importance of forgiveness, knowing that if it isn't a natural process based on your true feelings, it's harmful.

Forgiveness is one of the last possible steps on this journey and not the first.
The first step is the unconditional acceptance of ALL feelings.
Learning to listen to your body again, trusting your own perception, and starting to love yourself finally.
And: to forgive YOURSELF.

Before the sadness, the anger, and the disappointment of your inner child aren’t allowed and really felt by yourself, there can be no real forgiveness.
It is simply not possible.
False forgiveness is only a concept of the mind; it doesn’t help anyone - neither the victim nor the perpetrator.
It’s a lie, an illusion.

A frozen and restricted heart full of repressed emotions isn’t able to really forgive.
A freed and healed heart automatically feels the longing to forgive one day on the level of the soul.
It wants to spread the compassion you have developed for yourself out into the world.

But true forgiveness has nothing to do with trivializing, taking away the responsibility, and forgetting the things that happened.
The memories will, maybe, stay forever, though not as intense and painful, but as a wound that has scarred.

True forgiveness is more a release, an allowing of a higher divine perspective, a compassionate handing over of the darkness to the light so that it can be transformed.

If you think you will never be able to forgive truly, please don’t worry.
You are absolutely okay and absolutely loved.
Be gentle with yourself.
You don’t HAVE TO forgive.

Just be honest with yourself.
What do you really feel in your heart?
Your truth wants to be embraced.

(Verena, RWYA DAILY)

FALSE FORGIVENESS

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019 REMEMBER

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019 BE YOURSELF

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019 ODE TO THE BODY

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019 MONKEY MIND

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019 NONSENSE

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019 SURVIVOR

REMEMBER

BE YOURSELF

ODE TO THE BODY

MONKEY MIND

NONSENSE

SURVIVOR