I know a lot of people make fun of
the idea of having an 'inner child' but
I think that's just because they don't
understand the science behind it.
Whatever neural firing pattern got
established when you were a child,
when it opens again, it's like your
brain is firing in a similar way
as it did when you were young
because that pattern got templated.
It's like in that moment,
we become the child again.
When we can approach our parts with
compassion, it changes everything.
Why? Because when understanding
and compassion are given to
our parts, it allows for some
really deep healing work...
where our parts can finally
feel safe enough to relax.
It's almost like through our love
toward them, that they can realize
they aren't in the trauma scene
anymore. The sciency way of saying
this is that we are working
to change implicit memory.
There is something important about
not only thinking about or
approaching our parts as
'neural firing patterns' or
'conditioning' or 'schemas'
but rather visualizing
them as like human because
there is a way we are dealing with
human consciousness.
It's a human story.
It's not a what, it's a who.
When I have a client who is
depressed, I'm not thinking:
What is this depression?
Is it a chemical balance? Is it a coping
strategy? How do I get rid of it? I'm
thinking: Who in there is depressed?
Who in there gave up hope and why?
Who in there got so punished for the
anger that they learned to shut down
instead?
That part needs someone to find it
and build a relationship to it.
To listen to it. Because just like
with humans, a part will only
be able to change, be able to
learn and shift, once
it feels heard first.
(Dr. Tori Olds)
